3 Ways to Climb Out of the Gutter

Sometimes the pressure, the comparing, the belief that we are one “if only” away from stepping into our happily-ever-after, can send us in a tailspin, ostensibly landing us thousands of miles far, far away from any sense of joy. You feel?

For three effective and energy enhancing ways to get your mind out of the gutter and invite more authentic joy—and present moment awareness—into your life, keep reading.

Detox: Sometimes we don’t realize how much something is impacting our well-being until we let it go (any old relationships come to mind?). How about we take a short break from the socials (or any other screen time suck you find yourself overly immersed in)? Let’s consider deleting the Instagram and Facebook apps (just the app, not the account—you can keep breathing) from our phone for just one week. Seven days sound like too much? As John Acuff suggests in his book on completing our goals, Finish, why don’t we cut that number in half: Try 3.5 days. That’s it. See what it feels like to engage in the moment rather than feeling the urge, need and/or desire to document it, or alternatively, spending your time mindlessly scrolling through other people’s day to day rather than focusing on what’s right in front of you (if you’ve never fallen down a photo hole, finding yourself immersed in the life of someone you don’t even know— well, bravo, you! You’re basically a superhero).

Side note: I don’t want this to be a judgmental rant about social media as it can be a super useful tool when used in healthy, appropriate ways. If you’re using “the socials” responsibly, go on with your bad self.

Also: If you are finding the need, urge, or desire to escape, let’s get curious as to why. Grab your journal, feel your feels and you can start to figure out what’s really going on. Other people’s lives can often serve as a good distraction from dealing with something challenging that’s going on in our own lives.

Affirm: I am strong. I am patient. I am kind. Try it. Come on. Just do it: I am [insert whatever feels good for you here]: willing, compassionate, fun, beautiful, grounded, loving, loved, open, peaceful. As one of my favorite bad ass life coaches , Jen Sincero, reminds us in her latest book, You Are A Bad Ass Everyday, “What you repeat becomes your reality.” Pause. Consider that for a moment: What you repeat becomes your reality. Therefore, if you are repeating self-deprecating, judgmental, mean gnarly messages to yourself—about yourself—all day long, you will begin to believe these messages as truth and they will shape your reality. No bueno. If, however, you work to shift that narrative, and you begin, slowly and perhaps without much buy in at first, to tell yourself you are lovable, you are deserving and you are enough—well, hell, ya may just start to believe that, too.*

*I’d like to kindly insert a personal endorsement for I AM affirmations here. I am not getting paid for said endorsement, I am simply trying to spread the love and wealth of how this simplistic practice truly does work. It works for me, on the regular. And yes: self-love is a practice. It’s something you do, on a daily basis, to invest in the love and care of yourself. You and every dang human around you will benefit from this practice. You will raise your energy, your spirit, your soul to new heights and you will feel really fucking good. Investment? Time and faith. Return: radiance, joy and love love love.

Release: What are you holding on to that is no longer serving you? It may be self-judgment, a toxic relationship, limiting beliefs about who you are and what you are capable of becoming (anything you want, baby). Get cozy, light a candle, whip out a disposable piece of paper and start listing everything you are willing and ready to let go of—and maybe even those things you are not so sure you are ready to release, but are going to give a good ol’ college try at saying buh-bye to anyway. Once you’ve completed your list, read through what you’ve got (maybe solo, maybe with a friend) and then, meditate for a few minutes on all you would like to invite INTO you life. Finally, with purpose and strength, take your release list and do just that: toss it. Crumple it, trash it, light it (safely, please, near a faucet) on fire and watch it burn. Whatever works for you to make you feel a sense of freedom from what was, so that you may create space for what’s to come…

Cause let me tell you, sweet human: If you start paying attention to what’s sincerely going on inside your soul (without judgment), remind yourself on a daily basis that you are strong, powerful and good enough, and cleanse yourself of that which is no longer serving you, what’s coming is going to blow your mind: authentic happiness, love, abundance, and a sense of inner peace to name a few.

Why wait? Start now.