Lighten up your load, sweet one. Here's how.
The shortest to-do list you ever did see. How delightful.
If you engage in these practices daily, I guarantee there’s a better than decent chance you will feel a renewed sense of energy—the positive kind. And while there is some Doing required, this is also a list of Being.
Be Kind to Yourself. Learning how to be kind to yourself takes patience and practice. As I often say: Who ever knew not treating yourself like an asshole would be so hard? And as Pema Chodron far more eloquently posed it “Interrupting our destructive habits and awakening our heart is the work of a lifetime.” Amen, sister. When you start to fine tune your inner dialogue, shift happens. I am often asked, “Where do I begin?”
Stick Post-it notes around your computer screen (yes, yes I do this) with affirming reminders: “I am love, I lean into love” or “I deserve to be kind to myself” or “Today I have an opportunity to be the most loving version of me to myself and others” or any other words that offer you a sense of inspiration on your journey toward self-love.
Every morning wake up and think of one thing you are grateful for—about yourself. It can be something as simple as the fact that you mustered up the courage to open your eyes and get out of bed (Not an easy feat these days. Go you.)—whatever it is, breathe it in, breathe it out. Set a timer on your phone to go off 3 times throughout the day and reflect back on your morning gratitude. Before you go to bed at night, remind yourself again of what you are grateful for about yourself and consider the ways this affirming statement played a role in shaping your day.
Gently talk back to that not-so-kind version of yourself. That voice you hear that berates, judges, points fingers and pokes at you? You are not alone, dear one. I am familiar with that voice, too. I have experienced true freedom from that voice by gently talking back to it—reminding myself that this voice is not serving me, it is not helping the greater good and that oftentimes, it is the result of my fear-based thinking—getting in the way of allowing me to be my best self. So…See ya, gnarly inner gremlin. Perhaps you once served me—thank you for that. I don’t need you anymore. I no longer need to play small. I will not limit myself by listening to your lies. Be kind to yourself.
Be Kind to Others. Everyone is trying to do the best they can with what they know—operative words being with what they know. Forgive others for their limitations. Remember that you have them, too. Remember that they have a story, too. Can you see yourself in them? In many ways, you are them. Trip out on that thought for a moment. The same way I encourage you to treat yourself with gentle kindness, I encourage you to extend that kindness toward others. She/he/them are your sibling, your lover, your friend, your greatest teacher. One of my favorite quotes from the teachings I have been introduced to in A Course In Miracles is “Kindness created me kind.” Kindness created me kind. We were born with open hearts. Can we return to that open and receptive space? Let’s try. Let’s try really hard. Be kind to others.
Embrace Your Inner Rockstar. There is someone inside of you, even if it is deep inside your soul, that knows your true worth and is just itching to come to the surface and flirt with your greatness. Set him/her/them free—and have some Fun. Fun is a spiritual experience. Deep belly laughter is a great stress reliever and can even strengthen our immune system. Some other options: Walk around your house in heels for the day because it makes you feel sexy, dance like nobodies watching to Fiona Apples’ Fetch the Bolt Cutters singing into your swifter sweep broom like a mic (no I have not done that!), grab your go-to adventure buddy and take a spontaneous (and safe) day trip up a coast, down a coast, or anywhere in-between. Whatever you do, do it with ease, with a sense of lightness, with only one intention in mind: to have Fun. Embrace your inner rockstar.
When I was a little girl my Dad used to stuff lots of inspiration down my throat (enjoy that visual). It was annoying and inescapable (I lived with the man!) and I loved him despite it and for it. Now I reflect back with a deep sense of gratitude for the path he paved for me, the knowledge he passed along from some of the greatest teachers of his time (ie: Wayne Dyer) that I would some day, on my own volition (thank-you-very-much-DAD), discover and devour willingly. One such piece of inspiration that I recall my Dad sharing (I can hear the inclination in his voice reciting it as I type this): Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
I sincerely believe that if each day you are kind to yourself, you are kind to others and you let loose and allow yourself to have some Fun, you truly will get—or rather Feel—better and better.
Now go ahead and give it that good ol’ college try. I support you.