Slowly step out of your way.

Each month, I like to journal on the eve of the new and full moon. It’s not so much because I believe in the healing energy of the moon (I do), but more so because it’s a reflective practice that keeps me accountable for what’s what in my world—it forces me, at least twice a month, to hit the pause button and seek answers to the same questions I answered just one month earlier. In doing so, you can really start to notice what’s shifted, what’s stayed the same and where you may be feeling really, really stuck.

That said, in the line-up of full moon questions is this:

Over the past several weeks, what have you been bumping up against?

At a certain time in my life, I began to notice that month after month, my consistent answer to this question was always ME. That’s it: ME. I wasn’t bumping up against anything else other than my own limiting thoughts and beliefs about who I was, whom I could be, how and what I could create and when I could create it. As it became glaringly obvious that the only person standing in my way was me, I decided to take a deeper dive into why. I discovered road blocks we are all likely to face (that is, if you are indeed a human), and ways that we can work on removing them.

Drop old story lines: The “I’m not enough” storylines, the “I can’t” narrative, the “Someone else is already doing it better than I can” ideas. Guess what? That bullshit is not serving you. It wasn’t than, and it isn’t now. Stop. Playing. Small. Can you start to let these stories go? If you need help in understanding where they came from and guidance on how to start making the shift from unworthy to an “I-can-do-whatever-I-set-my-mind-to” kind of attitude, I strongly support therapy, a coach, or at the very least, an inspiring self-help book. For today, try to simply notice, with curiosity and compassion, when these old storylines arise. That’s a wonderful place to begin.

Don’t dance with the devil: The devil has two horns, comparison and judgment. It’s a gnarly combo and there is nary another duo I know that will result in such utter feelings of defeat and unworthiness. With today’s fine array of social media options (sense the sarcasm? I am working on dropping all judgment!), it can be challenging not to notice other people’s experiences. But I wonder if instead of judging ourselves [for not being like him/her/them] or comparing ourselves [for not looking like him/her/them], we can simply celebrate others? Be inspired by others? Learn from others? Try it for 24 hours. Each time you notice yourself moving toward comparison or judgment, choose again—without judging yourself in the process. Choose celebration (Damn, she looks fine! Hope she enjoys her nice lookin’ butt). Choose inspiration (He seems to have had the courage to follow his passion. Maybe I can, too!). Choose learning (Looks like they read a great book that helped create a thriving business. Putting it on my reading list.).

Scarcity is an illusion: There is space for ALL of us. Every time you feel inclined to tell yourself that you can’t have ALL THE THINGS because he/she/they have ALL THE THINGS, I’ve got news for you: you can both have it all. So often we stay stuck because we don’t think we can follow a path that someone else has already gone down. Guess what? I am currently, as I write this, following a path that hundreds of thousands have gone down before me, are going down with me, and will continue to go down after me. I repeat: there is space for all of us.

Fear is a Mo’Fo: I get it. I do. Fear can be powerful and keep our feet glued to the ground in a place we no longer want to be. Having the strength to lean into the unknown is incredibly vulnerable, and also incredibly freeing. So how about we give it a shot? The first action we can take is to [begin to] let go of the fear, doubt, anger, embarrassment, uncertainty and/or irritation that is blocking us from love. This exercise is a great place to start: Nicole Sachs calls it JournalSpeak, Gabby Bernstein calls it Rage on the Page. My friend Mary calls if Fuck You pages—which is kind of my favorite. Take paper to pen and set a timer for anywhere between 10-20 minutes. Start to write, free flow, spit on to the page, stream of consciousness— anything, EVERYTHING—that comes up for you—anger, resentment, irritation, fear, annoyance, toward yourself and others, that you’ve been holding on to. Get it all out! Neatness is most definitely not a prereq. Get messy. Life is messy. Write about the mess. Dispose some of it from your system. And when the timer goes off, rip those pages up. Shred them into small pieces. Trash that shit in the garbage. Then, sit in a silent meditation for another 5-20 minutes. Consider the [potential] stillness of your mind when you release the incessant chatter from it before you begin to meditate. The experience can be enlightening!

To review: drop old story lines, say goodbye to judgment and comparison, believe in big things for everyone, release your fears and lean into love.

Rinse and repeat as necessary. And trust me: it is necessary.

Now, go get ‘em tiger.