Everybody has a beach body.
What does it mean to have a beach body—a body that belongs at the beach? It means to be a breathing, living human. One who wants to spend time on the sand and perhaps play in the water. That is what it means to have a beach body—because every single body—and everybody—belongs at the beach.
Do you have thighs that jiggle even when you don’t wiggle? You’re invited.
Are your boobies too small to fill out the A cup of your bikini top? Place your towel next to mine.
Stretch marks on your belly after having a baby—or perhaps before? You are so welcome here.
Shy about your not-even-close-to-Kardashian size butt? Let’s go for a dip.
Feeling funny about anything, at all, about your body that doesn’t measure up to the unrealistic ideals and standards that our diet obsessed culture sets for us? Sweet human, you are not alone.
I hear you. I feel you. In some ways, I still am you.
We’ve all got our insecurities and discomforts about our bodies. The question is less about whether they exist and more about how much these insecurities are controlling your life: Are you losing parts of your life, and all of yourself, in an effort to manipulate your body into a size that it was never meant to be?*
We can let go of the silly little lies that our small minds try to tell us about our body size—and that consumarism tries to sell us.
But how??? I wish I had a one-size-fits all (pun intended) answer. The truth is, I don’t. What I can tell you are a few things that work for me and that I know others have found to be effective, as well.
Desensitize yourself. Get comfortable with a new kind of sexy. Open your eyes and notice bodies of all shapes, sizes, colors, sexes. Who are you following on Instagram? Does everyone look the same? Try following body positive role models and unfollowing any accounts that support diet culture or promote body shaming. Notice any judgments (without judging the judgment!) or preconceived notions you may have about people that don’t look like you, or that flaunt a body that doesn’t fit into the standard of what we often think we’re “supposed” to look like if we want to show off our skin. Can you notice where your mind takes you and gently reconsider what you may have been taught or told about a certain type of body? The key here is gentleness with both yourself, and others.
Get curious, with compassion. When I really started questioning where the story line of “I want to be skinny small” came from, I started to realize it wasn’t actually my storyline. It was a narrative I was familiar with from a very young age, but it was not necessarily a part of my fabric, my personal identity. It was fed to me—again, pun intended—by the media, by people trying to sell me shit, by other women, and obviously men—definitely men—who had been fed the same flavor of bullshit and didn’t know any different. When I got curious about this, and started to compassionately investigate what my truth was, I discovered it was not necessarily in alignment with the BS that had been so aggressively shoved down my throat. I encourage you to start questioning why you believe a flat stomach is so ideal or if you really think that gaps between thighs are something you should be striving for. Who fed you this information—and do you really want to swallow it?
Focus on other shit. One of the most helpful ways to let go of your preoccupation with the size of your body is by simply starting to focus on other things in your life. When you expand your connections and create intimate relationships with others and within, the size of your body becomes increasingly less important. Do you still care? Speaking for myself, yes, yes I do still care. I just care A LOT less than I once did. Perhaps there will come a time when I won’t give one single shit. I’ll let ya’ll know if and when that time comes. It’s okay to want to look and feel safe in your skin—I 100% support that. Things I do not support: harming yourself in any way to achieve a very manufactured “ideal.” The sad truth is that a lot of people make big bucks at the price of our pain.
Important end note: Perception shifts take time. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. I will work on that along with you ;)
And maybe, just for fun, because it’s summer—and because you belong here—shake what your momma gave ya!
More of my (likely similar) musings on self-love and body acceptance:
Body Love? We Can Work On That.
*If you are reading this and find yourself questioning the lengths you are currently going to or willing to go to in an effort to lose weight, it’s probably a good time to seek professional help. You don’t have to suffer in silence. Eating disorders want you to stay small in more ways than one. It’s [more than] OK to speak up and ask for your needs to be met. It’s bold and it’s brave and you can do it.